Monica

Monica
charcoal on paper
12 x 16
4/8/2017

The Demon In Me

The Demon In Me

The day begins so slowly

I can catch it from behind

Contentedly unfolding

With little concern for time

A quiet, gentle morning

People shuffle off to work

But rising without warning

A looming danger lurks

The demon in me is me

The demon in me is you

Whose intent I cannot see

Explanations ring untrue

I don't sweat the heat of day

Though night skies make me shiver

Unaffected by the pain

When sunburn starts to blister

But late into the evening

I'm frustrated and afraid

Don't know what to believe in

All my aces have been played

The demon in me is patient

Waiting as my spirit sleeps

The demon's not complacent

In pursuit of what he seeks

Maybe I'll paint a picture

One that only I can see

A magically blended mixture

Born of fact and fantasy

Or I'll write another letter

And address it to myself

Swear things will soon get better

Anguish will not overwhelm

The demon roars with abandon

Lying still to dodge detection

Picking helpless souls at random

Making a demonic selection

Our lives are not parallel

In magnitude, scope or depth

Views thought to be widely held

Remain difficult to accept

We don't always know what to say

When tragedy strikes good people

I just try to keep fear at bay

And hope others aren't deceitful

The demon will squeeze my chest

Causing panic, alarm and dread

While taking away my breath

As I retreat into my bed

I wonder as the new day breaks

Am I able to overcome

Obstacles thrown in my way

Or will I just succumb

To the things I can't control

But refuse to go away

I'd give everything I own

For the peace of yesterday

When the demon did not dwell

In my heart and in my mind

Whose firm grasp will be dispelled

If my stars are so aligned.

Steadfast

Be my friend

Not when I'm popular

But when I am alone

Praise me

Not when I am successful

But when I fail

Love me

Not when I am beautiful

But when I'm hideous

Support me

Not when I am strong

But when I'm frail

For it's easy to step out into the fair weather

And latch onto any rising star

But where were you in my time of terror

When I struggled through the bleak and darkest hour

Speak to me

When I'm buried in my own thoughts

Listen

When I have no words to say

Hold me

When I can't keep from shaking

Release me

When it's time to go away

The problem is that you don't really know me

The problem is you know me all too well

The solution is bestowed upon you only

The outcome is only yours to tell

Empathize

When you don't feel my feelings

Forgive me

When I cannot repent

Commit

When you are not believing

Rise up

Above your growing discontent

For the world keeps on turning ever faster

And the people that we know will all disappear

If God arose, I wouldn't know what to ask her

I can only hope the answer is sincere

So think of me

When there's so much else to think about

And call me

When my life's in disarray

Remember

To whisper all your secrets out loud

And linger

When you want to walk away.